Nightmares
by never-to-see
Summary: Jim has a nightmare, Sebastain deals with it. This turned out really strange and not how I meant it to. Allusions to Child abuse, OOCness and MorMor. Rated for language.


**A/N: I have no idea where this came from. I haven't slept properly for a few days now and this is apparently the result. Warnings for implied child abuse and general OOCness because I wrote a lot of Jim and usually, when it's MorMor he ends up a little out of character, but that's nothing compared to this.**

**Regardless, I hope you enjoy it. This fandom needs more MorMor anyway : )**

Seb hadn't seen Jim for a few hours now. The other man had declared that he had work to do and that he wasn't to be interrupted even if the flat was burning down around him; so Sebastian had been left to sit in the living room, watching mundane soap opera's on the telly.

He'd just been about to give up and go out, knowing that Jim probably wouldn't finish in time for him to get a good nights sleep now, when he heard it. It was just a soft noise at first, coming from the direction of the bedroom; Seb turned the tv off in order to hear properly.

For a moment there was silence in the flat. Sebastian was beginning to think he was hearing things and stood to put on his coat, when a small whimper of pain sounded again. It was Jim, of that much he could be sure, but he'd never heard the man sound quite so vulnerable before.

Seb stood in the living room, unsure of what to do. He couldn't think of any situation in which Jim would need to make these small, scared sounds; and it wasn't until Jim let out an actual cry of pain that Seb shook himself from his thoughts and proceeded down the hall to the bedroom. He paused when he reached for the handle, knowing that Jim would take any invasion of his privacy very badly (Seb was still healing from the last encounter) but he and Jim had been, well, Seb didn't want to say _boyfriends,_ for a good few months now and Seb thought that this fact alone gave him the right to find out what was wrong.

What he saw when he opened the door was something Seb had never expected, but couldn't understand why he was so surprised by the idea when he thought about it later.

Jim was quite clearly asleep, but not the deep peaceful kind Seb was used to seeing Jim fall into after several days without. Instead, he was tossing and turning restlessly, making soft pained noises and occasionally saying something which Sebastian couldn't quite make out. It wasn't until he saw the tears that it struck him, Jim was having a _nightmare_. He nearly laughed at how silly it seemed, but that was the only explanation for it.

It wasn't long before Seb discovered what Jim was dreaming about, as while he stood there trying to work out what to do, Jim became increasingly troubled. He tensed and shook his head gently, and as he mumbled the words started to become clearer to the point that Seb could make out what he was saying. When he did his breath caught in his throat.

"Please, no…daddy…daddy don't I'll…no please, I didn't…it wasn't…daddy please, please no.." Jim's mumbling was punctuated with tiny whimpers and sobs and, Sebastian wasn't aware his heart could still break.

Knowing he needed to wake Jim, but not wanting to startle him, Seb kneeled on the bed and shook him gently.

"C'mon Jim, wake up." He whispered quietly, but it had no effect on the man who was still tossing and turning, mumbling in his sleep. Seb sighed and moved so he was on top of Jim, but not touching, ready to restrain him if he didn't react well to being woken. He took hold of Jim's shoulders and shook him a bit more forcefully

"Jim, wake up!" he hadn't wanted to startle Jim into waking but it seemed the only thing to do right then. Jim startled awake and immediately went to hit Sebastian, who caught his wrist mid punch and pinned it above him. Jim struggled, still not fully awake, and for once Sebastian saw what he could only describe as pure terror in his lovers eyes.

"Jim, calm down, it's just me." Jim struggled for a few more seconds whilst Seb reassured him quietly. Eventually the criminal relaxed under him and Seb slowly loosened his hold. For some time the two just stared at each other. Jim's eyes were more open than Seb had ever seen them; with no traces of the ever present walls that shut out the rest of the world. Seb felt like he was being faced with all the things that were wrong with Jim, all the things that no amount of loving him would ever fix. Seb had seen people tortured, hopeless and lost, but in all of his time he had never seen a single person look so _broken_.

Eventually it was Jim who broke the silence.

"What did I say?" his voice was raw, almost a whisper and Seb just stared at him for a minute before shaking his head.

"Nothing" he replied. Jim's expression didn't change, but Seb felt his eyes follow him as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Don't lie. You wouldn't have done that if I hadn't said anything. What did I say?" it took a moment for Seb to realise that this was what Jim sounded like when he wasn't threatening someone. He had realised a long time ago that whatever Jim said carried a threat, a dangerous undercurrent that just served as a reminder of who you were speaking to, but now that was gone. Instead, Jim's voice was soft, and Seb could swear that he could detect a sound of fear still lingering when he spoke. Seb sighed, rubbing his hands across his face.

"You said something about your Father." Seb turned back slightly to look at Jim, who was studying him with a look that Seb couldn't place.

"He was a terrible man." Jim stated. "He killed my mother, strangled her with his bare hands. Me and Nick didn't stand a chance after that. I sometimes wonder if he's the reason…" Seb didn't know why Jim was telling him this, he just knew to take what he could when Jim offered and not question it.

"If I wasn't…If I wasn't a dangerous criminal, if I was just…this. Just a kid that everybody hated and he couldn't understand why… If I was just lost and broken and so fucking _scared_, would you still love me?" Seb felt the bottom drop out of his stomach, and without thinking he pulled Jim up and pressed their lips together.

"Jim, look at me." Seb whispered, pulling back so he could see, but staying as close as possible to the other man.

"Sometimes I see things in you that scare me, not the threatening things that other people see, but these things that I know I can't do anything about. It scares me Jim, because sometimes I think that they'll overtake you, and I'll come home to find your body instead. I wish that I could go back and stop these things before they happened so I wouldn't have to look at you and know that I can't fix you, no matter how hard I try. But in the end it doesn't matter because fuck Jim, I thought I didn't know how to love someone anymore but you…sometimes I wonder if you love me, and hurts to think that one day you might not because I'll still love you. As fucked up as everyone thinks it is, I love you, and there's nothing anybody can do about that." Jim simply stared back at him, before placing his hand on top of Sebastian's.

"I do…love you I mean. I don't know why, or how, but I do. I just…" Jim sighed and looked away, Seb just shook his head.

"C'mon. Let's just get some sleep, yeah? We can deal with this in the morning." Jim smiled sadly up at him before nodding and curling into Seb's side when he got under the covers.

When Jim's breathing had slowed to a steady pace Sebastian looked down at him and ran a hand through his hair. He knew that he didn't have any idea what went on in Jim's head, or where to even begin trying to fix him, but he knew that if he had any choice in the matter, he would die trying.

**A/N: Again, I don't know where this came from, but if you could drop me a review telling me what you thought it would make my day : )**


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